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Welcome!
Good day, and thank you for joining us for this extraordinary, once-a-year publication. Today’s issue is unlike any other, because it celebrates a headline event of the highest importance:
It’s your birthday yayyyy
a truly special day worth printing in bold.
As you open this edition, you’re stepping into a space created in honor of someone remarkable.
Every line, every “article,” and every detail has been crafted to mark this celebration with the fanfare it deserves.
Collector of Excellent Tastes
A Spotlight on Dana
In today’s special edition, the Culture & Entertainment section proudly shines its spotlight on Dana, a young woman whose taste in music and fandoms has been officially declared elite by our editorial board. According to experts, Dana possesses a rare and powerful ability: she likes cool things before everyone else claims they do.
The Music Maven
Our investigation reveals that Dana is a devoted listener of:
"Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpenter and Gracie Abrams are my fave!"
These musical pillars have been scientifically proven to improve one’s personality by at least 87% (source: people with excellent taste)
📚🌌 Fandom Royalty⁉
Further research into Dana’s interests shows an impressive range of fandom memberships, each one handled with expert-level dedication:
Swifties — her natural homeland.
Percy Jackson — fluent in demigod energy.
The Cosmere — navigating galaxies, shards, and Brandon Sanderson chaos like a pro.
EPIC (the musical) — because why not love a universe full of adventure?
FNAF — brave enough to survive the lore, the theories, and the animatronics.
The Grishaverse — shadow and bone, magic and mystery; Dana knows it well.
Arrowverse / DC — keeping up with heroes, villains, timelines, and occasionally asking, “How many Earths are there again?”
⭐ Conclusion: A Taste Icon
Cultural analysts agree: Dana’s likes aren’t just “good.” They are top-tier, certified legendary, and worthy of a full-page article in this birthday newspaper.
Wherever Dana goes, fandom energy rises, playlists improve, and conversations become 10x more interesting.
love u mua